New invention idea: vibrating tampons
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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