my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They have beer where we have blood.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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