thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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