I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
