you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
