My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
