worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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