No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
