You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
