If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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