Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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