He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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