O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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