i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
