i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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