i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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