i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
