I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
