I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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