It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
