Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
