I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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