Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
