I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
