Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
