He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
