Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
