Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize