I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
