I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
