No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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