Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
