Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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