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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?

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• (858): View more from California

  sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

  (818): View more from California

  No. He thinks you're slutty.

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

  (1-858): View more from California

  Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides

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• (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just trying to show you I care.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.

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• (619): View more from California

  I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle

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