Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
