So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
