Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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