Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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