I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He has the fingertips of a God
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