end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
