Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
