I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
