There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
