Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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