Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
