I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
