Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
