dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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