dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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