she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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