ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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