Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
