forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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