if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
