i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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