why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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