I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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