Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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