how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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