i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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