I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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