youre lurking in front of me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
